The Daily Dose x “State Of Man-mergency”

Thats right. I herby declare an international State of Man-mergency !!!!! Whats a “Man-mergency” ?! Don’t be stupid yeah, clearly its an emergency FOR MEN ONLY. So yeah, ladies you can just feel free to leave right now. Its Man-time. Bye.

*looks around carefully*

Aite fellas, we’re alone. I shall now present to you three pieces of evidence. That point to a clear crisis of man-ness going on globally. This is not a drill, this is the real deal. I shan’t comment on these pieces of evidence, instead I’ll leave that up to your own brains. But I shall attach some suggestions for how to better live our collective man-lives from this point on.

Let me say from the jump however that I realise that I am a part of the problem, as a rapper, I don’t use the word bitch nearly enough and I shall from here on strive to remedy this. No.

Without any further hullaballoo <-- the use of this word, is part of the problem too . . . I only just realised though. Oops!

EXHIBIT A. -> Beyonce’s “Run The World”

EXHIBIT B. -> Phillip Zambardo’s TEDtalk x The Demise of Guyness

EXHIBIT. C -> Bruno Mars’ “Grenade”

also see this link for further incriminating Bruno Man-mergency related stats and facts. FACTUAL FACTS THOUGH !!!

EXHIBIT. D –> the tweet I just saw on tweetdeck yo. like 10 seconds ago. Courtesy of @IngaRochelle . . . yes a girl witnessed this last piece of evidence. OH FOR SHAAAAAAME !!!!

TEHN’S SUGGESTIONS

– Disclaimer: Some of these are jokes, all of them are not. *scratches head on ur behalf*

1. Stop beating on our women yo. Like, stop that immediately. All u’re doing is showing that we feel the need to dominate these gorgeous creatures, and all that perpetuates further is that we’re weak. Men ain’t weak damnit !! We are strong. AAAAAAARGH !!! *King Leonidis voice*

2. Say no homo or pause one more time and I’ll personally choke you out. For real. So you said some suspect shit, big deal, you’s a man B. And why you gotta explain yourself ? It should jus be common knowledge that you ain’t a homo, if you ain’t a homo. Simple. Which leads me to my next point.

3. Yo, if you well and truly have to be gay . . . please still be a man doe . . . I mean why you gotta be the gay dude who acts like a girl, all that says is you really wanna be a woman and thats cool, cos’ there’s procedures for that these days. Do you. If you’re a little unsure as to how to be a man AND not-straight see Neil Patrick Harris aka Barney Stinson. A legend of man-ness and all out G. Kinda.

4. Quit wearing them fucken jeans. You know the ones. Just quit it, aite ?!

5. Stop getting into fights at the club doe !!! Aaaaargh !! Again, just perpetuating weakness. Also it pains me to see you get beat down every weekend only to end up wiping snot on your woman’s hundred dollar blouse n’shit. Not a good look G. Reel it in and Curb it, like immediately though.

6. Quit watching all that porn and learn how to make love to your woman. Please. The stats and facts in the TEDtalks video are just appalling. We really gotta jerk it that often ?! REALLY !!!!??? C’mon son.

7. Quit taking shit too serious. Chill. Have a plan. And enjoy your life. The most manly thing you can do, in all honesty, is just love your woman right.

8. Brush up on your Bro Code everyday yo . . . yeah that means every 24hrs. Cos’ a headline in the papers read like this the other day “Man rapes brother’s wife.” <-- WTF !! NOT. A. BRO.

9. STOP RIDING MALE HORSES JUST BECAUSE A BUNCH OF KIDS BET YOU DAMNIT !!! Yes Drake, we’re looking at you my nig.

Okay bye.

Any suggestions on how we might further re-man the world, leave in the comments section below. Okay man-time over.

Tehn