The Daily Dose x “Yoda O’Brien”

Is it a bird ? No.

Is it a plane ? No.

Does it even have wings ? No.

Then what the f#*k is it then ?!

Oh shoot, my bad, its just me cruising down Borrowdale Road at a cool 5kms/hr under the speed limit of 70., in my new set of wheels. Not new because the car is new, but new because after 3 months of my proverbial road wings clipped by the higher powers aka the designated grown-ups . . . I’m finally back in the driver’s seat.

Does it feel good to be back behind the wheel ?! No.

Its hot and its boring, also it makes my right ankle hurt after about a half hour or so. Yea, Tehn is not built to drive around AT ALL. But its cool, I’m getting places and getting things done. Which is pretty much the name of the game. I’m waving at the Po Po as I cruise on by at the legal limit, I’m stopping for pedestrians at pedestrian crossings . . . I’m even not waiting to honk at random booty as it graces the side-walks of Harare . . . yuuup . . . I’m getting it in and I’m getting it in by the book.

I only get a touch amped whilst driving when one of my songs come on, which is fairly often cos’ the only CD I currently own is #SOTG2 . . . which as it turns out contains a whopping 14 of my songs, you can download and listen to it here if you don’t believe me.

Flashback 3 months and we’re looking at a totally different brand of driver, which probably explains my 2nd accident . . . in my defence though I was driving in an overly excited fashion tryna get to Miss Zim Tourism pageant . . . I’d spent the night before befriending models of the outta towner persuasion and landed myself some V.I.P. tickets . . . so let a fella live.

Doesn’t excuse or explain why or how I ended up having a car accident with thin air though. *sighs*

But let’s flashback another 3 months to my first and definitive accident, the one that started this whole thing . . . the one that happened a mere 100m up the road from where the second one would later happen. Yea, lets go back there. What happened that time around ? Whats the great excuse ? Chasing models ? Dodging pigeons ? Honking at booty ?

NOPE!

This one was pure stupidity, it at least involved another car though . . . and it was mainly stupid cos the other dude was a douche and an asshole and turned in front of my precious 2010 whip . . . the ever lovely “Almost Amazing (R.I.P.)” . . . it was also stupid cos i’d been drinking. Like a fool. See he was in the wrong, but I was in the wrongest cos maybe just maybe, had I been sober I coulda avoided a stupid accident.

But fuck it, such is life, we press on regardless. Drving now scares me a little, and drinking . . . well drinking scares me too. So hopefully we’re at a good starting place.

And ummm no, the car in the photo is not my new baby-doll “Yoda O’Brien” but in fact a dramatic re-enactment of what my new ride acts and feels like in my mind. So yea, allow me.

Her name is “Yoda O’Brien” cos everytime I get in her I learn some Yoda like wisdom, kinda backwards . . . but potent . . . like I learnt today that if I wanna adjust the seat to make so that I’m not sitting with my knees touching my chest and my nose over the steering wheel like a ponce . . . well I learnt that I’m gonna have to find another car for that kinda shit. This one doesn’t come with that feature.

I also learnt that while Yoda doesn’t have central locking, I’m more than welcome to lock each door individually and thoroughly . . . but in doing so I’m not to expect for ANY REASON whatsoever for the back right door to be able to lock, no matter what. That one just gets a pass and is allowed to stay fully unlocked, while the others guard the car. And I think thats kinda fair.

Her last name is O’Brien, because there’s a lanky ginger haired Irish comedian behind every lesson she opens my being up to. And I am grateful.

Anyway.

Don’t drink and drive kids, it’ll mess you up . . . worse yet it could mess someone else up and you don’t need that on your conscience.

pow!

Tehn

P.S. Does anyone else drive as crap as me, lemme know in the comments below ?