The Daily Dose x “Dear Bruno Mars”

Bruno,

I don’t know you perosnally my dude, but lemme say you’re worrying me fam. I think I first encountered you on B.o.B.’s “Nothing On You” and that was dope, I was a fan . . . you kilt it dead. Then I think I ran across you on Travie McCoy’s “Billionaire” and you know what, that was dope too.

All was right with the world and I was looking forward to what you had in store for the world as a solo artist. I’d done some snooping around YouTube and found some unreleased potential gems of yours, so the internal hype engine was steadily picking up steam.

Then you dropped “Amazing” . . . sang your ass off my dude, the writing was ill . . . it was simple and hit the mark. I heard it and it took me back to “Just The Way You Are” not Barry White’s one but when Billy Joel does it . . . and not because your song was anywhere near as awesome to the Nth as the aforementioned “Just Way You Are” . . . but only because of that bit where you sing the lyrics “Just Way You Are” and I start to miss the other song.

But as always, I digress. I liked the song. I didn’t like that it had undertones of telling the ladies that they can just approach life looking however and its all gravy, but I did enjoy the sentiment. Thank you Bruno, you done good.

Then you checked your G-pass at the door and said “Fuck it, let’s crank this up a notch.” and proceeded to drop “Grenade” . . . again a well written and well delivered song, I can’t take none of that away from you . . . I know the pressures of tryna write good music, you do that in a manner that seems effortless. All that considered, again its the undertones of your track that I’m getting my undies in a bunch over . . . fair enough the track came out ages ago and I should be over it, but I’m not. I’m just NOT.

It irks me.

This time you’re promoting grenade-catching, now where I’m from (H-Town, Zim . . . act like you know already), nobody goes around ACTUALLY knnowingly tryna catch them some grenades . . . in fact I like to think that the greater masses of us go out there tryna land us some 9′s and hell if we’re extra lucky and them roofies kick in right, some 10′s. In reality probably only 5′s and 6′s . . . but thats neither ere nor there . . . my point is, nobody’s tryna rope a grenade let alone write a song about it. The way I see it if this chick was kissing you with her eyes open and you saw her do that, you had your eyes open and you’re both weirdos for that. There’s no need to run around lugging a fucken piano round town talmbout you’ll get with a 1 just to please this chick. She ain’t worth it !!!

Rather catch a 2 for 1 striptease at your local gentleman’s club, you’ll feel better, and help a lost soul through college while you’re at it.

So anyway after “Grenade” I honestly just left you alone, I caught a glimpse of something you did with Damian Marley but didn’t bother to really take notice of it cos’ . . . well . . . to be honest, cos’ I couldn’t trust you anymore bruv. I didn’t know what you were gonna try push on me next, cos’ so far you’re breaking Bro Code stipulations left right and centre, and its hard to watch right now.

So I left it.

I let it simmer.

I let Jesus take the wheel. (foolishly forgetting that Jesus came before the 4-door Benz coupe dropped, and really only rode donkey.)

But I digress.

Cos’ then like 3 weeks ago, I stumbled upon some newness outta you Bruno . . . I found myself without a laptop cos’ the stupid thing had eleceted to crash mid-Easter weekend and leave me with no choice but to watch the dreaded idiot-box. I got lucky though cos’ MTv Base and them were having a 98% Music Weekend . . . so I wouldn’t have to suffer through any Jersey Shore nonsense and I could catch up on what’s hot on the mainstream scene.

Anyway, this lead to my eventually hearing a number you like to call “The Lazy Song” . . . I don’t have too much to say on this, but I’ll try. Again, I think its dope . . . u wrote it well and you sung it well . . . that video is AWESOME and its hialrious.

Okay, but fuck you Mr. Mars !!!

For the most part we are all out here on our cot-damn grinds, day in and day out, I see it on my twitter timeline constantly . . . variations of “Rise & Grind” or “They Sleep, We Grind” . . . Rev Run is dropping jewels on em . . . Tyrese ? not so much . . . but trying . . . you got motivational and inspirational quotes gracing facebook status updates and newsfeeds religiously . . .

Mr. Mars !! Mothersucker !! People are tryna GET IT IN !!!

And your song is The Anti-Grind and I hate you for it. More so cos its catchy and I like the video. fml.

Okay, I think thats all. I best quit blogging in the middle of this meeting lest somebody calls me lazy. But just know Bruno, I’m not gonna be coming to you for advice on anything anytime soon. You’re rude dawg. Peace.

pow!

Tehn

What songs do YOU love to hate & hate to love ?

Lemme know in the comments section below.