The Daily Dose x “F#*K Like A Pornstar”

a moment of silence please. *sigh*. life.

. . .

. . .

. . .

It’s 6:45am on Tuesday 10th May . . . no wait . . . NO . . . its ACTUALLY 8:17am but my stupid new hard-drive in my laptop seems to not be able to tell the correct time even though I’ve commanded it to do so numerous times since “The Great Hard-Drive Crash of 2011″ a few weeks ago . . . over Easter to be exact. Yea, what a stupid weekend, the very same weekend that brought “The Brooke Job” into my life . . . a not so elaborate but insanely stupid plot to pull a heist at a birthday party . . . as ummmm . . . revenge ? I guess.

But I digress . . .

Its now 8:20am and I’ve logged onto facebook to make sure my life hasn’t fallen apart, and whaddayaknow life is still very much intact (side note: never let me write “whaddayaknow” EVER AGAIN) . . . anyway shitty writing aside, within 10mins or so of facebooking i.e. deleting invites to events thousands of miles away in places I’ve never been and wondering why this daije has been poking me for like a month now.

In any case, whilst facebookalizing . . . Facebook presented me with the “People You May Know” bit . . . see its always there, I just never give it the time of day . . . cos hey “I DONT know THAT dude !!” right ?! Today, however, it turns out that I may know one . . . Audrey Bitoni. And she’s not a dude, she’s a SHE.

Now ladies gimme a sec, lemme have a private moment with the fellas please . . .

*totally guy talk manly chat voice* “Duuuuuuuuude . . . Audrey Bitoni as in, yes, the PORNSTAR !!!”

*re-adjusts tie and collar*

Okay I’m back, so yeah . . . she’s a pornstar . . . don’t ask me how I know this, just know that I know a guy who knows a guy who knows this chick who’s dog-walker knows a guy who may or may not know why I know who Audrey is.

Yes, I called her “Audrey” or “Audz” if you’re nasty . . . or if I’m nasty . . . or if ummm . . we’re nasty ?

But yea, I digress again . . . or maybe I just like writing “i digress” (note to self: quit being such a snob and get on with it.)

Long story short, its totally NOT her . . . just some chick with her name and her pic who can’t possibly be her. right ? Which got me thinking, ummm . . . why would you make ur profile on facebook a porn one . . . as in of ALL the identities to steal, why a pornomistress ?

Are there chicks out there who look up to pornstars ?

If so, where have you been hiding, cos your sistren have being crying foul over porn for a minute now and this whole facebooky thing has me in a tizzy.

So yea, somebody gimme the 411. So I have a question, and I only ask becuase thats where facebook has lead us . . . but ummm . . .

Whats the low-down on chicks and porn these days, is that kinda kosher now ?

Hit me up in the comments below.

pow!

Tehn

P.S. Its now 2:35pm and facebook is still pushing hard for me to follow Audrey, but I shan’t. Why ? Cos’ on twitter I made the mistake of following like 20 of them heauxfessionals for a month and they’re boring. Case closed, nuff said there. Bye.

FULL FULL DISCLOSURE: I TOTALLY wrote a song called “Pornography” its an awesome electro style track that ma