wow.

A few days ago, I posted a blog about trust and how I guess I don’t believe in it. Well, I was wrong. Cos’ as it turns out I do trust a bunch of people. I mean, I do but I didnt really realise till that trust was broken. And thats the funny thing about things like trust and love and shit…you really don’t know you’ve got it until its gone.

Now the funny thing, in fact its more ironic than just funny, is that now that whole post is completely true. One cannot afford to trust a soul. For we are human, but flesh and blood. We change everyday and I guess this makes it difficult to truly share this glorious space called earth.

I almost felt bad about not being willing to trust though I really should be able to, but i don’t anymore. I just can’t. I look at most of the stories of the people who have made the biggest impact on this world and its clear to me in one way or another that they’ve been selfish and stubborn. Selfish in the fact that they think first of themselves and their ideals, and stubborn in the fact that they are unshaking and committed to bringing those ideals to fruition. Whether good or bad, they’ve been able to commit.

So at the end of the day, for all the love I’ve given…for all the people I’ve hurt…the years away from my mom…the arguments with the very man who made me….its far too late to turn back now. I see right now as a turning point. Decision time. And from where I’m looking, selfish and stubborn are the only option.

But I know that my intentions are good. I just love music and want to be everything that I can be in it. And so it shall be. Forgive me, but the only family I have other than my own is my FAM-BASE…I’m fully committed to you and to what it is I’m trying to do. For me and for you.

I had a dream. And that can’t be held back or distracted by anything.

This almost makes me sad, because I know how it ends. Well at least I think I know. Me, alone. Which is unfortunate, because loneliness is my second greatest fear next to failure. But its still second, I have to worry about my first fear and I guess i’ll deal with number two when I get to where I’m going.

Thank you all for supporting me and being true. I won’t you down like trust did me.

Peace, Love & the beautiful struggle.

TehN Diamond